I know, I said I would write every day. Unfortunately life sometimes gets in the way. So I’m going to attempt to catch up with things! I’ve had lots to talk about!
It was time to go job searching. This is not the easiest thing in the world to do, especially with my profession. I decided “today’s the day!” I had some places in mind of where I wanted to submit resumes. I didn’t know if they were hiring or not, but it never hurts to get my name out there, right? Now keep in mind, I’m nervous as heck for these. Lots of thoughts going through my head, like, what if I don’t meet the expectations I present on the resume? What if I make the school look bad by not knowing certain things? What if I look bad by not knowing certain things? It was very stressful before I even put the resumes out! Ok, breathe…
I stopped by “edible arrangements”. They were slightly busy. The people talking to the customers just did not seem happy. It was almost like they (or I eventually) were interrupting their day. So I wait. I think I’ve done retail too long as I find myself slightly irritated that I was not even acknowledged that I walked through the door. Once someone was able to assist me, they just did not seem happy. I started thinking do I really want to work here? How do they stay in business when they do not even look like they enjoy it? what kind of product are they sending out if they feel like this? I am a happy person and I do not know if I want to put myself into this environment. I was not able to leave my resume, but she gave me an application to fill out and the owner will be in the following week to collect. So I took the resume and left, trying to find myself a happy place!
I head out to the next possible job opportunity. I walk into this new place and already like it. It is a little coffee/pastry shop and I felt like I could just sit there all day, work on my laptop and enjoy hot chocolate and sweets. This feels more like it. I find the associate, and introduce myself, let him know I am looking for employment but was not sure if they were hiring, and that I just wanted to get my resume out there. So he takes my nice little folder, and says the manager is actually at the other shop down the street about 10 minutes if I had time to stop by. I did not, but he informed me they are in need of a baker! PERFECT! He looks at the resume and says “you know, let me call the manager and see when she will be there tomorrow so you could possibly stop by, and I will make sure there is still a position available. So he goes behind these bar doors that I can still hear what he’s saying. He gives her a call and tells her I would be an excellent candidate and she should really take a look at my resume and meet me. I only talked to this guy for five minutes and he is already highly recommending me for this position! Sweet! He gets off the phone and lets me know the manager’s hours tomorrow.
I left with a rejuvenated feeling. I was ready. I can do this! I had to go to my other job, so I thanked him and headed out. I was apparently glowing when I walked into my job, as my boss looked at me and said “you’re glowing!” oops! I denied it, but I guess it was a pretty bright glow! I so wanted to tell her, “sorry, I had a job interview and I’m leaving” but seeing as I did not have an interview I could not share.
So I headed in Saturday before I had to work again. It was a cute little pastry shop, not like the one I went into the day before which was more on the modern side. I met with the manager and gave her my resume. She told me it was a full time job, starting at 6 in the morning. Oye that was early. But that was ok. I am to expect it eventually with my profession. We talked for a while and she said she will go over the resume with the owner and I was to call back on Tuesday to let them know if I was still interested or not in the position. I was feeling pretty good and yet nervous and all the fears came back after I left. All I could do now was wait!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
a mindful of food
today was a very interesting day. without planning on it, i stumbled across a lot of information and it has plagued my mind the entire day. will warn you know, this will be a long one.
it started out with me looking for some potential places to submit my resume. i found one that is a franchise and thought it would be SO cool to own a store out where i live. there's not much out here and i think it would do our little town some good! the only problem would be i would want the full store, not the retail store, as i would want to make everything there instead of having it shipped over from the other store. they want someone with experience for that. and i don't quite have the money to do so either, so that quickly went out of current thoughts. it is definitely being stored for down the road though! i couldn't tell if they were hiring, but it doesn't hurt to get my name out there. i got a resume and cover letter ready and then headed out to meet my friends for lunch.
i met up with three friends i met in culinary school, all in the same type of program. it was nice to talk "geek" talk, as my husband calls it, with girls who knew what i was talking about. it started out as your basic catching up through salad and lunch. but then came dessert. here is where geek talk will come in. we didn't really say much about the meal we ate, but when dessert came, we were critiquing and intriguing on what it was that we were eating. ah, gotta love my girls! we also decided over lunch that we were going to meet at my house next time, one girl is going to bring the Julia Childs cookbook, one girl is going to make most of the meal, i'm providing the Julie and Julia movie and the other girl is going to bring wine. we are going to eat, drink and watch a movie! can we say GEEKS? i think we can!
after lunch, i had to give a friend something i borrowed, and we ended up talking for another two hours (at least it felt like it, i don't know really how long it was) about school and students and me and her and jobs and it was just crazy. but it was crazy in a good way! and this is what caused most of my thinking for the day. i must still be needing reassurance that i really am as good as i think i am. i am not one to boast, or be arrogant or cocky. i just don't want to be that person that "knows" i'm better than a lot of people, but to everyone else i'm not. i don't know if she was being sincere, as i am hoping she is, or if she was just trying to make me feel better. either way, it worked.
we have this chef instructor whom i value his opinions very much, especially when it relates to me and what i produce in class. i'm not going to lie, i was slightly afraid of him when i first had him in class. of course it was a combination of first day in the lab, i knew no one or anything of where i was, it was all so different, and i couldn't even make blueberry muffins. i blame nerves. but i quickly gained respect for him though when he would pass back our journals, and he said my name and told the class i can write the journal. that set my bar and possibly his bar for me. i already had set myself pretty high and he sets his pretty high as well. i think i'm about 2 feet higher than his. anyway, i couldn't let him down or myself down, so i continued to do what i was doing with the journals. he ended up being sick and then ended up switching classes with another instructor, so i really didn't get to finish the quarter with him, but my other instructor was giving us reviews out in the hall (i forget if it was midgrade or end of quarter) but chef saw my name and told him "now that girl can write a journal." knowing that i would have him for the rest of my labs, i had to keep doing what i was doing, not only for myself, but i needed to keep his respect. so i did, and every quarter he would say the same thing. i quickly became a "favorite" as some students would say, and i was ok with that! i got to help with special projects and learn whatever i could from him in the short time that i was there. with that said, one of my good friends from school is probably his most fav, and keeps in touch with him. he also shares information with her. so with that long intro, i kept asking my friend what chef thought of this or that or if he really thought i'm good. she said at one point, "why do you think he had you come in one day to help and gave you books to look through and help make stuff? because he knew he could give the responsibility to you and you didn't need his help. he could rely on you to get it done." i just wish i could hear these things from him. i did ask him if he would refer me and he said he would, and i could tell he was serious about it. he does tend to joke. i don't know. i just value his opinion so much, i wish i could've really known what he thought. i'm just that person right now that needs encouragement as this is all so new and scary for me.
we then started talking about jobs (which really hopefully soon, it will be play that pays) and how she loves her job. one of the girls that went out works with her as well and she's been struggling i gathered. so we were talking about that, and how she would hire me if she had the position, which she might come this fall. i think we would both work well together. i'm going to admit, she is better than me, for now. and that's only going to push me. we are, however, similar in many ways which i think would make it work. we have similar work ethics, we like to brainstorm aka geek talk, we both pay attention to detail, and we are quick learners and eager to absorb all that we can from whoever we can. we are reliable and motivated. she was telling me of everything that she does, and what they want to do soon in the future, and it really got me wanting to work there! the only downfalls are that it's off season so they probably aren't hiring, and you don't know when you are going to work next. so then i got to thinking, well, maybe, if they would hire me, i could stay at my other job for steady income (provided we have a turnover in managers) and then work here as a second job until it got to the point i could either find better employement with the skills i learned or they get busy enough i would be there full time. it would be better pay anyway.
then she was talking about what she wants to do for her portfolio, 2 yrs from now. pairing of wine and desserts. then she was telling me how there's a project that might come up of wine with desserts. actually, if i remember right, there might be two. anyway, it got me thinking of a discussion i had with my cousin. she said i should open a cake shop with wine. her mom chuckled and found it amusing, but not potential. she said why not? it was two things she loves and she would be there every day. so after hearing my friend talk about all these wine and dessert things, i thought, this could actually be a new thing! i did take my cousin seriously when she suggested that. it could actually work! i might need to take some wine classes to really learn about wine, but i think it could really work! you could order full size cakes for weddings and such, but you could also stop in and have wine and some petit fours! oh the possibilites! see why i had an overload day? my mind was/is going crazy! that is why i am writing this at 3 in the morning! although now it's almost 4. so many new and exciting things that could potentially happen for me! and i got a slight boost from my friend, which was much needed, and she probably had no idea i did. i never got around to getting my resume to the patisserie, but i feel better now submitting it. i think i might actually fall asleep now. or stay up even longer because i have excited myself again on it. it was a good talk and i think i need to just have those more often, with just her, as i feel she's the only one at my level i can talk to and she can motivate right now. there are many journeys out there just waiting! i only need to hop on!!!
it started out with me looking for some potential places to submit my resume. i found one that is a franchise and thought it would be SO cool to own a store out where i live. there's not much out here and i think it would do our little town some good! the only problem would be i would want the full store, not the retail store, as i would want to make everything there instead of having it shipped over from the other store. they want someone with experience for that. and i don't quite have the money to do so either, so that quickly went out of current thoughts. it is definitely being stored for down the road though! i couldn't tell if they were hiring, but it doesn't hurt to get my name out there. i got a resume and cover letter ready and then headed out to meet my friends for lunch.
i met up with three friends i met in culinary school, all in the same type of program. it was nice to talk "geek" talk, as my husband calls it, with girls who knew what i was talking about. it started out as your basic catching up through salad and lunch. but then came dessert. here is where geek talk will come in. we didn't really say much about the meal we ate, but when dessert came, we were critiquing and intriguing on what it was that we were eating. ah, gotta love my girls! we also decided over lunch that we were going to meet at my house next time, one girl is going to bring the Julia Childs cookbook, one girl is going to make most of the meal, i'm providing the Julie and Julia movie and the other girl is going to bring wine. we are going to eat, drink and watch a movie! can we say GEEKS? i think we can!
after lunch, i had to give a friend something i borrowed, and we ended up talking for another two hours (at least it felt like it, i don't know really how long it was) about school and students and me and her and jobs and it was just crazy. but it was crazy in a good way! and this is what caused most of my thinking for the day. i must still be needing reassurance that i really am as good as i think i am. i am not one to boast, or be arrogant or cocky. i just don't want to be that person that "knows" i'm better than a lot of people, but to everyone else i'm not. i don't know if she was being sincere, as i am hoping she is, or if she was just trying to make me feel better. either way, it worked.
we have this chef instructor whom i value his opinions very much, especially when it relates to me and what i produce in class. i'm not going to lie, i was slightly afraid of him when i first had him in class. of course it was a combination of first day in the lab, i knew no one or anything of where i was, it was all so different, and i couldn't even make blueberry muffins. i blame nerves. but i quickly gained respect for him though when he would pass back our journals, and he said my name and told the class i can write the journal. that set my bar and possibly his bar for me. i already had set myself pretty high and he sets his pretty high as well. i think i'm about 2 feet higher than his. anyway, i couldn't let him down or myself down, so i continued to do what i was doing with the journals. he ended up being sick and then ended up switching classes with another instructor, so i really didn't get to finish the quarter with him, but my other instructor was giving us reviews out in the hall (i forget if it was midgrade or end of quarter) but chef saw my name and told him "now that girl can write a journal." knowing that i would have him for the rest of my labs, i had to keep doing what i was doing, not only for myself, but i needed to keep his respect. so i did, and every quarter he would say the same thing. i quickly became a "favorite" as some students would say, and i was ok with that! i got to help with special projects and learn whatever i could from him in the short time that i was there. with that said, one of my good friends from school is probably his most fav, and keeps in touch with him. he also shares information with her. so with that long intro, i kept asking my friend what chef thought of this or that or if he really thought i'm good. she said at one point, "why do you think he had you come in one day to help and gave you books to look through and help make stuff? because he knew he could give the responsibility to you and you didn't need his help. he could rely on you to get it done." i just wish i could hear these things from him. i did ask him if he would refer me and he said he would, and i could tell he was serious about it. he does tend to joke. i don't know. i just value his opinion so much, i wish i could've really known what he thought. i'm just that person right now that needs encouragement as this is all so new and scary for me.
we then started talking about jobs (which really hopefully soon, it will be play that pays) and how she loves her job. one of the girls that went out works with her as well and she's been struggling i gathered. so we were talking about that, and how she would hire me if she had the position, which she might come this fall. i think we would both work well together. i'm going to admit, she is better than me, for now. and that's only going to push me. we are, however, similar in many ways which i think would make it work. we have similar work ethics, we like to brainstorm aka geek talk, we both pay attention to detail, and we are quick learners and eager to absorb all that we can from whoever we can. we are reliable and motivated. she was telling me of everything that she does, and what they want to do soon in the future, and it really got me wanting to work there! the only downfalls are that it's off season so they probably aren't hiring, and you don't know when you are going to work next. so then i got to thinking, well, maybe, if they would hire me, i could stay at my other job for steady income (provided we have a turnover in managers) and then work here as a second job until it got to the point i could either find better employement with the skills i learned or they get busy enough i would be there full time. it would be better pay anyway.
then she was talking about what she wants to do for her portfolio, 2 yrs from now. pairing of wine and desserts. then she was telling me how there's a project that might come up of wine with desserts. actually, if i remember right, there might be two. anyway, it got me thinking of a discussion i had with my cousin. she said i should open a cake shop with wine. her mom chuckled and found it amusing, but not potential. she said why not? it was two things she loves and she would be there every day. so after hearing my friend talk about all these wine and dessert things, i thought, this could actually be a new thing! i did take my cousin seriously when she suggested that. it could actually work! i might need to take some wine classes to really learn about wine, but i think it could really work! you could order full size cakes for weddings and such, but you could also stop in and have wine and some petit fours! oh the possibilites! see why i had an overload day? my mind was/is going crazy! that is why i am writing this at 3 in the morning! although now it's almost 4. so many new and exciting things that could potentially happen for me! and i got a slight boost from my friend, which was much needed, and she probably had no idea i did. i never got around to getting my resume to the patisserie, but i feel better now submitting it. i think i might actually fall asleep now. or stay up even longer because i have excited myself again on it. it was a good talk and i think i need to just have those more often, with just her, as i feel she's the only one at my level i can talk to and she can motivate right now. there are many journeys out there just waiting! i only need to hop on!!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
sugar skyscrapers
I was watching the food network challenge today and they had sugar skyscrapers. amazing. the winner was 16ft 4.3in tall! it was breathtaking and nerve racking, yet they both looked wonderful. it's so interesting to see them build these, knowing what i know. the empire state building was an open building with open windows and it was like a building made out of cardboard. but in an architectural way. it was SO cool. and it didn't involve any color, so it was pastilliage, i think he did some casting and then plain sugar! oh it was phenominal. that is the one that one. the other building was pretty sweet too! i was definitely voting for the empire. AH, amazing. some day, maybe... some day...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
entry 5
I started a menu planner for my husband and I. I made a citrus salad with grapefruit, orange and blood orange. I've never really had a blood orange and I really liked it! Maybe this will be my first secret recipe! But then I know about it, so that might not work so well. I will have to put it in the hat I guess. I haven't done this yet. I need to make sure I have the funds first. This menu planner might hurt me for a little bit. This past trip did. I will have to see how it goes. I think this month I will gather my thoughts on it and hope to be able to start it next month.
I really need to get into job searching. This Friday I am going to go to a few places after I have lunch with some friends. I'm going to look on line at a few places as well. I need to get out of my current job.
I really need to get into job searching. This Friday I am going to go to a few places after I have lunch with some friends. I'm going to look on line at a few places as well. I need to get out of my current job.
Entry 4
I've decided not to give these creative titles, as I sometimes don't really know what I'm going to write about. Or I will start out talking about what I thought I was going to talk about, but then it turns into something different, as my mind tends to release on these.
I had to work late last night so I was not able to put an entry in, so here it is. We have a brand new owner at the store and he was there a little bit last night, learning some of the ways the business runs. He has a lot to learn I think. And not necessarily with the business, but he knows nothing of chocolate, or anything else. He's a financial gooroo that buys and sells bonds and stuff. Which is fine, he just doesn't know anything about retail, or the store or managing or anything. I don't know how much he's already learned from others in the store or at training (i think he had to do a corp training) so I just kind of told him some stuff here and there. We were dipping candied orange slices, and he was so impressed that they can do that! so I was explaining to him how they make it candied. I guess I did learn something in school! No, I did learn a lot. It was just interesting for me to finally share some of the knowledge.
I need to start looking for jobs. I just hate doing that. I don't want to stay at this store as the manager is awful, although I think the owner is seeing that and will probably be doing something about that. And the place I am currently, well, it just isn't a place where I can grow with my career. It's more a place for those who are in college and trying to get by, not someone who has been to a culinary school and has ambitions bigger than the world. I need to not let myself be stuck there. That would be bad, very very bad.
I had to work late last night so I was not able to put an entry in, so here it is. We have a brand new owner at the store and he was there a little bit last night, learning some of the ways the business runs. He has a lot to learn I think. And not necessarily with the business, but he knows nothing of chocolate, or anything else. He's a financial gooroo that buys and sells bonds and stuff. Which is fine, he just doesn't know anything about retail, or the store or managing or anything. I don't know how much he's already learned from others in the store or at training (i think he had to do a corp training) so I just kind of told him some stuff here and there. We were dipping candied orange slices, and he was so impressed that they can do that! so I was explaining to him how they make it candied. I guess I did learn something in school! No, I did learn a lot. It was just interesting for me to finally share some of the knowledge.
I need to start looking for jobs. I just hate doing that. I don't want to stay at this store as the manager is awful, although I think the owner is seeing that and will probably be doing something about that. And the place I am currently, well, it just isn't a place where I can grow with my career. It's more a place for those who are in college and trying to get by, not someone who has been to a culinary school and has ambitions bigger than the world. I need to not let myself be stuck there. That would be bad, very very bad.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Entry 3
I have found myself to be tired all day, as I think I'm getting sick. I have been wanting to fall asleep all day, however, my husband and I have been doing things. We were watching a movie and I could feel myself not make it through without dozing off so I suggested we head to bed. And since then, I have not been able to fall asleep. Go figure. So I thought, before the clock struck 12, I should enter my second entry for the day so I do not get behind.
As I tossed and turned, trying to focus my mind on one thing, I found myself thinking of everything. I felt like I was back in school, constantly thinking of my final or the project we were making next class. And yet I am not returning to school. I guess it's a good thing to still be thinking about these things, but why do the thoughts have to come at night while I try to convince myself sleep is so much better? I was thinking about my Peppermint Bark Torte I made. I only had two layers in it, and I thought of a third just tonight. I had this torte displayed on my portfolio table, and a former student showed up and asked why I did not do a ganache insert. I told her I wanted it to have the crunch of a bark (I had a tempered dark chocolate insert with peppermint snow on it). She agreed that did make sense, but I was not about to tell her the real reason was because I never thought of it. This is why I need to do the secret ingredient. She's been out of school for a few years now and has been able to experience many things and can probably name a thousand things I could've used. I wish I had been working in the field before and during my schooling so I could apply these things. This is also part of what kept my mind racing. What if I interview for jobs and they ask me to make these things that I have no idea what they are or forgotten how to make the simpliest thing, like pastry cream! Not only do I look like a fool, but I make the school and my instructor look like a fool. I know there are others that have graduated from the school that are worse than me but I don't want to be that person that represents the school like that. I have much more to still learn, and if the place I go to is willing to continue my eduation, I am willing to work for them. See how crazy this entry is? This is only half of what my brain was doing while lying in bed. Hopefully now that some of the craziness is out I will be able to sleep better. Until tomorrow's entry, Sweet Dreams!
As I tossed and turned, trying to focus my mind on one thing, I found myself thinking of everything. I felt like I was back in school, constantly thinking of my final or the project we were making next class. And yet I am not returning to school. I guess it's a good thing to still be thinking about these things, but why do the thoughts have to come at night while I try to convince myself sleep is so much better? I was thinking about my Peppermint Bark Torte I made. I only had two layers in it, and I thought of a third just tonight. I had this torte displayed on my portfolio table, and a former student showed up and asked why I did not do a ganache insert. I told her I wanted it to have the crunch of a bark (I had a tempered dark chocolate insert with peppermint snow on it). She agreed that did make sense, but I was not about to tell her the real reason was because I never thought of it. This is why I need to do the secret ingredient. She's been out of school for a few years now and has been able to experience many things and can probably name a thousand things I could've used. I wish I had been working in the field before and during my schooling so I could apply these things. This is also part of what kept my mind racing. What if I interview for jobs and they ask me to make these things that I have no idea what they are or forgotten how to make the simpliest thing, like pastry cream! Not only do I look like a fool, but I make the school and my instructor look like a fool. I know there are others that have graduated from the school that are worse than me but I don't want to be that person that represents the school like that. I have much more to still learn, and if the place I go to is willing to continue my eduation, I am willing to work for them. See how crazy this entry is? This is only half of what my brain was doing while lying in bed. Hopefully now that some of the craziness is out I will be able to sleep better. Until tomorrow's entry, Sweet Dreams!
Entry 2
So I now have to write two journals today, as I was not able to write anything yesterday. Here is entry one for the day.
I went out to eat last night with a friend of mine. I told her about my idea of having my own personal Iron Chef thing for desserts. She didn't go to school with me, but is supportive of my future. That always helps. We decided I should have a tasting party every time I find out the desserts I want to make. I think this is a good idea. It will not only help me with suggestions on how to change things, but it can also expose my creations to my friends, who, in turn, can pass the word on. I just need to start doing this.
While we were out, we got desserts. The restaurant we ate at has dessert "shots" which has almost become a new thing at restaurants. To my surprise, the shots I had were really good! I had a chocolate cake and a lemon pie shot. The only thing I really didn't like with the chocolate cake is they put cherry syrup on the bottom. That's not my most favorite combination. sometimes I wish restaurants wouldn't do that. I guess if I didn't want it I just wouldn't eat the bottom layer of the cake. Oh well. It was still good, and we are going to go back and just eat the desserts!
I went out to eat last night with a friend of mine. I told her about my idea of having my own personal Iron Chef thing for desserts. She didn't go to school with me, but is supportive of my future. That always helps. We decided I should have a tasting party every time I find out the desserts I want to make. I think this is a good idea. It will not only help me with suggestions on how to change things, but it can also expose my creations to my friends, who, in turn, can pass the word on. I just need to start doing this.
While we were out, we got desserts. The restaurant we ate at has dessert "shots" which has almost become a new thing at restaurants. To my surprise, the shots I had were really good! I had a chocolate cake and a lemon pie shot. The only thing I really didn't like with the chocolate cake is they put cherry syrup on the bottom. That's not my most favorite combination. sometimes I wish restaurants wouldn't do that. I guess if I didn't want it I just wouldn't eat the bottom layer of the cake. Oh well. It was still good, and we are going to go back and just eat the desserts!
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