Entry 3

I have found myself to be tired all day, as I think I'm getting sick. I have been wanting to fall asleep all day, however, my husband and I have been doing things. We were watching a movie and I could feel myself not make it through without dozing off so I suggested we head to bed. And since then, I have not been able to fall asleep. Go figure. So I thought, before the clock struck 12, I should enter my second entry for the day so I do not get behind.
As I tossed and turned, trying to focus my mind on one thing, I found myself thinking of everything. I felt like I was back in school, constantly thinking of my final or the project we were making next class. And yet I am not returning to school. I guess it's a good thing to still be thinking about these things, but why do the thoughts have to come at night while I try to convince myself sleep is so much better? I was thinking about my Peppermint Bark Torte I made. I only had two layers in it, and I thought of a third just tonight. I had this torte displayed on my portfolio table, and a former student showed up and asked why I did not do a ganache insert. I told her I wanted it to have the crunch of a bark (I had a tempered dark chocolate insert with peppermint snow on it). She agreed that did make sense, but I was not about to tell her the real reason was because I never thought of it. This is why I need to do the secret ingredient. She's been out of school for a few years now and has been able to experience many things and can probably name a thousand things I could've used. I wish I had been working in the field before and during my schooling so I could apply these things. This is also part of what kept my mind racing. What if I interview for jobs and they ask me to make these things that I have no idea what they are or forgotten how to make the simpliest thing, like pastry cream! Not only do I look like a fool, but I make the school and my instructor look like a fool. I know there are others that have graduated from the school that are worse than me but I don't want to be that person that represents the school like that. I have much more to still learn, and if the place I go to is willing to continue my eduation, I am willing to work for them. See how crazy this entry is? This is only half of what my brain was doing while lying in bed. Hopefully now that some of the craziness is out I will be able to sleep better. Until tomorrow's entry, Sweet Dreams!