a mindful of food

today was a very interesting day. without planning on it, i stumbled across a lot of information and it has plagued my mind the entire day. will warn you know, this will be a long one.
it started out with me looking for some potential places to submit my resume. i found one that is a franchise and thought it would be SO cool to own a store out where i live. there's not much out here and i think it would do our little town some good! the only problem would be i would want the full store, not the retail store, as i would want to make everything there instead of having it shipped over from the other store. they want someone with experience for that. and i don't quite have the money to do so either, so that quickly went out of current thoughts. it is definitely being stored for down the road though! i couldn't tell if they were hiring, but it doesn't hurt to get my name out there. i got a resume and cover letter ready and then headed out to meet my friends for lunch.
i met up with three friends i met in culinary school, all in the same type of program. it was nice to talk "geek" talk, as my husband calls it, with girls who knew what i was talking about. it started out as your basic catching up through salad and lunch. but then came dessert. here is where geek talk will come in. we didn't really say much about the meal we ate, but when dessert came, we were critiquing and intriguing on what it was that we were eating. ah, gotta love my girls! we also decided over lunch that we were going to meet at my house next time, one girl is going to bring the Julia Childs cookbook, one girl is going to make most of the meal, i'm providing the Julie and Julia movie and the other girl is going to bring wine. we are going to eat, drink and watch a movie! can we say GEEKS? i think we can!
after lunch, i had to give a friend something i borrowed, and we ended up talking for another two hours (at least it felt like it, i don't know really how long it was) about school and students and me and her and jobs and it was just crazy. but it was crazy in a good way! and this is what caused most of my thinking for the day. i must still be needing reassurance that i really am as good as i think i am. i am not one to boast, or be arrogant or cocky. i just don't want to be that person that "knows" i'm better than a lot of people, but to everyone else i'm not. i don't know if she was being sincere, as i am hoping she is, or if she was just trying to make me feel better. either way, it worked.
we have this chef instructor whom i value his opinions very much, especially when it relates to me and what i produce in class. i'm not going to lie, i was slightly afraid of him when i first had him in class. of course it was a combination of first day in the lab, i knew no one or anything of where i was, it was all so different, and i couldn't even make blueberry muffins. i blame nerves. but i quickly gained respect for him though when he would pass back our journals, and he said my name and told the class i can write the journal. that set my bar and possibly his bar for me. i already had set myself pretty high and he sets his pretty high as well. i think i'm about 2 feet higher than his. anyway, i couldn't let him down or myself down, so i continued to do what i was doing with the journals. he ended up being sick and then ended up switching classes with another instructor, so i really didn't get to finish the quarter with him, but my other instructor was giving us reviews out in the hall (i forget if it was midgrade or end of quarter) but chef saw my name and told him "now that girl can write a journal." knowing that i would have him for the rest of my labs, i had to keep doing what i was doing, not only for myself, but i needed to keep his respect. so i did, and every quarter he would say the same thing. i quickly became a "favorite" as some students would say, and i was ok with that! i got to help with special projects and learn whatever i could from him in the short time that i was there. with that said, one of my good friends from school is probably his most fav, and keeps in touch with him. he also shares information with her. so with that long intro, i kept asking my friend what chef thought of this or that or if he really thought i'm good. she said at one point, "why do you think he had you come in one day to help and gave you books to look through and help make stuff? because he knew he could give the responsibility to you and you didn't need his help. he could rely on you to get it done." i just wish i could hear these things from him. i did ask him if he would refer me and he said he would, and i could tell he was serious about it. he does tend to joke. i don't know. i just value his opinion so much, i wish i could've really known what he thought. i'm just that person right now that needs encouragement as this is all so new and scary for me.
we then started talking about jobs (which really hopefully soon, it will be play that pays) and how she loves her job. one of the girls that went out works with her as well and she's been struggling i gathered. so we were talking about that, and how she would hire me if she had the position, which she might come this fall. i think we would both work well together. i'm going to admit, she is better than me, for now. and that's only going to push me. we are, however, similar in many ways which i think would make it work. we have similar work ethics, we like to brainstorm aka geek talk, we both pay attention to detail, and we are quick learners and eager to absorb all that we can from whoever we can. we are reliable and motivated. she was telling me of everything that she does, and what they want to do soon in the future, and it really got me wanting to work there! the only downfalls are that it's off season so they probably aren't hiring, and you don't know when you are going to work next. so then i got to thinking, well, maybe, if they would hire me, i could stay at my other job for steady income (provided we have a turnover in managers) and then work here as a second job until it got to the point i could either find better employement with the skills i learned or they get busy enough i would be there full time. it would be better pay anyway.
then she was talking about what she wants to do for her portfolio, 2 yrs from now. pairing of wine and desserts. then she was telling me how there's a project that might come up of wine with desserts. actually, if i remember right, there might be two. anyway, it got me thinking of a discussion i had with my cousin. she said i should open a cake shop with wine. her mom chuckled and found it amusing, but not potential. she said why not? it was two things she loves and she would be there every day. so after hearing my friend talk about all these wine and dessert things, i thought, this could actually be a new thing! i did take my cousin seriously when she suggested that. it could actually work! i might need to take some wine classes to really learn about wine, but i think it could really work! you could order full size cakes for weddings and such, but you could also stop in and have wine and some petit fours! oh the possibilites! see why i had an overload day? my mind was/is going crazy! that is why i am writing this at 3 in the morning! although now it's almost 4. so many new and exciting things that could potentially happen for me! and i got a slight boost from my friend, which was much needed, and she probably had no idea i did. i never got around to getting my resume to the patisserie, but i feel better now submitting it. i think i might actually fall asleep now. or stay up even longer because i have excited myself again on it. it was a good talk and i think i need to just have those more often, with just her, as i feel she's the only one at my level i can talk to and she can motivate right now. there are many journeys out there just waiting! i only need to hop on!!!