So? How's the new job?

Olympics have taken over my life for a brief moment of two weeks. I did nothing but watch them while I was home. This is why there has not been a post in a while. Also, because I've been watching that, I have not been watching my food shows. So I thought I would update you on my new job.
The job is going pretty well. For the most part, I greatly enjoy the job. I was able to get some extra hours while the owner was on vacation. Now that she is back, I don't get to stay as long, which really sucks. It has been a rollercoaster ride so far, but more from my emotional being than anything.
As like any Chef with standards, expectations are high, especially if you come from a culinary school. I have lucked out my Chef comes with patience as well. There are days that feel like nothing I can do is right, from providing too big/small a plate for the customer's food, to using a new piece of parchment instead of one already used, but had chocolate on it. Then there are days of pure accomplishment, by making a torte and it turning out great to getting everything done on my list before I have to leave. Expectations are high, and I meet most of them, most.
I have one slight problem. I am not quick enough in production. I move at a normal pace basically, which does not fly in the culinary world. I thought I moved at a decent pace, hanging over from school, but I guess I do not. She is talking about moving me to full-time which would be AWESOME. However, I need to get my pace up before she will do this. For instance, this morning, I should have been able to prep chocolate cake, make hot chocolate, both sauce and drink, open the shop, make and bake apple tarts and do shortdough tarts. All this should've been done in 4 hours. Needless to say, I was short making the tarts, and still stayed an hour over. If only there were not customers I think I would get so much done! And she wants me to start timing what I make. Not for her benefit, but for mine. And those stupid dishes! Being a small shop, we get to be the dishwasher as well as baker and barista. So somewhere, deep down, I need to start moving faster. I know I had one day of awesome productivity, as I got everything done on my list, and had time to spare. Where did that come from and how do I get it back?
Besides being scolded (in a not so mean way) for not being fast enough, I was also talked to about how when something goes wrong for me, I really show it in both body and mind. I thought I just get quiet, but apperently my entire body changes. For the most, they are happy with me. She really likes my techniques, and she wants to teach me more, but if I cannot get done what I need to in 4 hours without her coming in, I do not get the extra hours.
I have to dig deep and really find myself. I sometimes get so frustrated with myself because I let things get me down, or I feel like I let them down. I'm a grown woman, yet have cried at work twice already! TWICE! And it was not because they yell at me, just with what they tell me. It is not because I "got in trouble" which I do not think that is it, but because I just let myself think I have disappointed them and myself. They do not know there have been even more tears when I leave work. I just have to look for this inner strength that has to be there, but where? I need to find speed, but how? I refuse to drink caffiene in the morning. I have broken away from the serious addiction I had and I do not want to fall back. Ugh.
So, to answer the question, the new job is going well! I have some hiccups I need to get through, but things should become better soon!